Archive for May, 2008

2 girls, 1 clerk

Posted in hookers, pathos on May 10, 2008 by sarafist

We occasionally receive faxes regarding Amber Alerts, notifying us of missing or endangered children (usually having something to do with custody disputes, I have noticed), or advising us of dangerous felons in the area, so it wasn’t unusual to get a fax of that nature my Monday night. Our fax machine has been acting up lately, and it was a few hours into my shift before I got anything to print. Amidst all the advertisements for cheap motel furniture or landscaping companies was a notification of two missing minors/possible runaways from Springfield (adjacent to Eugene). It was addressed to all the motels in the chain of our persuasion, stating that the two young girls (thirteen and fourteen years old) had been sexually assaulted, then left town with two different older men, and were possibly staying at one of our Portland area locations. I read the descriptions carefully, then returned to staring blankly out the front windows of the lobby. Three minutes later, two girls walked past, out of the parking lot, and lo and behold, they actually matched the descriptions. No way. Disbelieving and beside myself, I checked the flyer again, then walked out to see where they were headed. Once I saw that they were going into the Taco Bell across the street, I went back in and checked the security cameras to figure out which room they’d come from. Miracle of miracles, the girl who’d checked them in had actually gotten their names, and they matched those of the missing girls. Way!

HOLY SHIT, I thought, maybe I can actually be of help in keeping yet another couple of underage girls from a life of prostitution! I first called the Springfield PD to verify that it wasn’t in fact a prank to harass fellow hookers (this happens often; one will get angry at another, then call or fax us to let us know there’s something going on), and as soon as they verified the information, I called Portland PD.

Unfortunately, the girls never did return from Taco Bell, and I never did save them from a life on the track. When the cops finally arrived, they spoke with the gentlemen in the room, and told them that it’s just not a good idea to take minors two hundred miles from home, even if they tell you they really need a ride and a place to stay. The cops asked me to watch out for the girls, because though the men said that their moms had picked them up, it all seemed pretty sketchy. Sometimes you win them, and sometime you lose them; here, we mostly lose them.

Update: There actually was a better resolution to the story. When my co-worker came in on her next day, she didn’t check my notes from the previous night, and on seeing the flyer, called one of the girls’ mothers, whose number was on it. The mother told her that she really had picked them up from Taco Bell the night before. The sketchy dudes were telling the truth! The girls did make it home! They’re not hookers—at least, not yet! Yay!


which wall’s on first?

Posted in calls, stupidity on May 10, 2008 by sarafist

I had just checked in a middle-aged lady and sent her up to her room when a gentleman came in needing a room. As I was checking him in, the phone rang. It was the woman I’d just checked in. Uh-oh.

Schatzi: Front desk, how can I help you, ma’am?
Guest #1: Where’s the air conditioning unit in my room?
Schatzi: Well, it’s in one of two places, ma’am: the front wall or the back wall of the room.
Guest #1: Which one is that?
Schatzi: The front or the back?
Guest #1: Which one is the front wall?
Schatzi, flabbergasted: Which one is the front wall? The one with the door in it.
Guest #2, who I’m checking in, sotto voce: “Which one is the front?” You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!
Guest #1: I don’t see that.
Schatzi: The door through which you walked into the room—that’s the front wall, ma’am. The back wall is directly opposite that.
Guest #2: Is she fucking retarded?!?
Guest #1: I don’t see an air conditioner there.
Schatzi, cheerfully: Then it must be on the back wall!
Guest #1: All I see there are two beds.
Schatzi: That’s the side wall, ma’am. The back wall is across the room from the door.
Guest #2: [various profanities]
Guest #1: The tv is there.
Schatzi: No, ma’am, that’s the other side wall, across from the beds. If you put the phone down and stand in the doorway, then walk all the way across the room, you should find the air conditioner on the wall. I’ll wait on the line while you look.
Guest #2, who I’ve finished checking in: I’ve got to see how this turns out.
Guest #1, after a wait: I found it. [click]
Schatzi to Guest #2: Not even a “thank you!”
Guest #2, shaking his head: I can’t fucking believe some people.

Unfortunately, I can!

not getting it

Posted in check-ins, stupidity on May 1, 2008 by sarafist

Guest: I want room 126 for four nights.
Schatzi: I’m sorry, but 126 is only available Saturday. The only rooms at the end you prefer that will be open for those four days are 227 and 228.
G: Well, put my friend in 227, I want 126.
S: It’s not available during your stay.
G: I’ll stay in 126 Saturday, then move.
S: I’m afraid I can’t guarantee you a room to move to since this weekend we’re almost completely booked. I can put you in one room for four days, but I can’t move people from room to room due to how crowded we are this weekend.
G: I want to be in one room the whole time.
S: Well then, I can put you in 227 or 228 for all four days.
G: I want 126; I’ve stayed there before. Why can’t I have it?
S: It’s already reserved for three of the days you’ll be staying here. It’s only open Saturday; I would have to move you inot it tomorrow, and out again Sunday.
G: Is there anything else on the first floor in that building?
S: The only other first floor room I have is 134 at the opposite end of the building, but it is open all four days.
G: Is there another one next to it for my friend?
S: No, 134 is the only room at that end of the building that is open for the four days that you’ll be here. The only other rooms open for those four days are 227 & 228–at the opposite end of the building. Those three rooms are the only ones available for all four days.
G: I guess that will work.
S: Which room???
G: I’ll take 134, and my friend will be in 227.
S: Okay then.
G: I just don’t understand why I can’t be in 126; I’ve gotten it before when I asked.

Note how she completely misses that only those three rooms are open. WTF? I felt like I was on repeat for six minutes, going through this over, and over, and over.