your very original remarks, pt i: if only shirley jackson were here

I’m terribly sorry to break it to you, but this exchange

Schatzi: And if there’s anything [else] you need, just let me/us know!
Guest: How about the winning lottery numbers? Har har!
Schatzi, beaming as though joy had her by the throat: I’ll get right on that!/You’ll be the first to know, sir/ma’am!/Don’t I wish!

happens several times a week. Sometimes a few times a day. And it doesn”t get any funnier with repetition, I’m sorry to say.

When you have the opportunity to inflict an un-funny joke upon some poor customer service rep who has to act thrilled or be at risk of complaints about their surliness, restrain yourself, please. Don’t be That Guy; be the better person.

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4 Responses to “your very original remarks, pt i: if only shirley jackson were here”

  1. These are the same people who brag loudly that they “suck at computers.” It’s not even a verb. It sounds like they go around putting their lips on computers and getting freaky.

  2. You sure just stare at them for a moment, cock you’re head to the side and answer, “I’m not sure I understand what you mean. Was there something else you needed?”

  3. The Lottery… hehe

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