Archive for the check-ins Category

your very original remarks, pt i: if only shirley jackson were here

Posted in about work, check-ins, peeves with tags , on August 8, 2009 by sarafist

I’m terribly sorry to break it to you, but this exchange

Schatzi: And if there’s anything [else] you need, just let me/us know!
Guest: How about the winning lottery numbers? Har har!
Schatzi, beaming as though joy had her by the throat: I’ll get right on that!/You’ll be the first to know, sir/ma’am!/Don’t I wish!

happens several times a week. Sometimes a few times a day. And it doesn”t get any funnier with repetition, I’m sorry to say.

When you have the opportunity to inflict an un-funny joke upon some poor customer service rep who has to act thrilled or be at risk of complaints about their surliness, restrain yourself, please. Don’t be That Guy; be the better person.

the what now?

Posted in check-ins, lolwut on July 8, 2009 by sarafist

Some superdrunk lady I was checking in kept laughing and telling me that I’m the “white Tyler Perry.”

I have no idea where she was getting that–something about the way I talk?–but she was having a grand old time.

i’m not gonna lie . . .

Posted in about work, check-ins on May 11, 2009 by sarafist

One thing that frustrates us to no end is the way in which people blatantly lie and expect us to believe them. Mostly, people lie about the number of people in a room. Look, dudes, we know you’re coming here with your girl/boyfriend, so just pay up. You other dudes, we know you’re bringing in a prostitute, so just pay up. We don’t care, just so long as a) we get our money, and b) you don’t try to lie.

One person, really? What about that other person in your car? They’re not coming up to the room? Well, I hope you know I will watch you walk to your room, and the second I see that person walk through the door, I will call you and hassle you. And 99.9% of the time, you will be dumb enough to pick up the phone. And when I demand that your “visitor” come and check in with their ID, I will indeed call back repeatedly if they are not down here in the five minutes for which you asked. Oh yes, I will. I will continue until you pay. And in my human frailty, I will enjoy it, viewing this as my Holy Mission, my Crusade, and your punishment for lying to me.

So let me tell you again: I do not care what you are doing in your room—provided you are not damaging it. I do not care with whom you do things. As long as you check in all visitors and pay for the correct number of people in your room, I will not be bothered, and therefore I will have no cause to bother you. It’s very simple.

baby, it’s cold outside

Posted in check-ins, stupidity on April 8, 2009 by sarafist

One of the nice things about the end of winter is that this stops happening.

Prospective Guest: How much for a single?
Schatzi: Just one person? $56.24 after tax.
PG: That’s not what the sign out front says!
Schatzi: The price isn’t on the sign, sir or ma’am.
PG: Yeah, it says $39!
Schatzi: That’s the temperature, sir or ma’am.

i don’t get it

Posted in check-ins, irrational, peeves, stupidity on October 30, 2008 by sarafist
Schatzi: Is this address current?
Guest: The one on the driver's license is.
Since that was the only ID of theirs I had, I wonder what people like this are thinking. Why doesn't a "yes" or "no" suffice?

not getting it

Posted in check-ins, stupidity on May 1, 2008 by sarafist

Guest: I want room 126 for four nights.
Schatzi: I’m sorry, but 126 is only available Saturday. The only rooms at the end you prefer that will be open for those four days are 227 and 228.
G: Well, put my friend in 227, I want 126.
S: It’s not available during your stay.
G: I’ll stay in 126 Saturday, then move.
S: I’m afraid I can’t guarantee you a room to move to since this weekend we’re almost completely booked. I can put you in one room for four days, but I can’t move people from room to room due to how crowded we are this weekend.
G: I want to be in one room the whole time.
S: Well then, I can put you in 227 or 228 for all four days.
G: I want 126; I’ve stayed there before. Why can’t I have it?
S: It’s already reserved for three of the days you’ll be staying here. It’s only open Saturday; I would have to move you inot it tomorrow, and out again Sunday.
G: Is there anything else on the first floor in that building?
S: The only other first floor room I have is 134 at the opposite end of the building, but it is open all four days.
G: Is there another one next to it for my friend?
S: No, 134 is the only room at that end of the building that is open for the four days that you’ll be here. The only other rooms open for those four days are 227 & 228–at the opposite end of the building. Those three rooms are the only ones available for all four days.
G: I guess that will work.
S: Which room???
G: I’ll take 134, and my friend will be in 227.
S: Okay then.
G: I just don’t understand why I can’t be in 126; I’ve gotten it before when I asked.

Note how she completely misses that only those three rooms are open. WTF? I felt like I was on repeat for six minutes, going through this over, and over, and over.