Archive for the irrational Category

911 is somewhat humorous

Posted in cops, crazies, irrational on April 17, 2009 by sarafist

We recently had a fun guest, the likes of which we haven’t had in quite a while. Someone else paid for his eleven-day stay, and the gentleman occupied a smoking single, 218. He had been here a few days when I first encountered him on a quiet Sunday morning. He came down to the office to hang out while the housekeepers finished cleaning his room—or so he told me. He was in here and wandering around outside for a good two hours, and the housekeepers only take twenty minutes max to finish an occupied room, so I am not entirely sure what he was up to besides killing time.

I was quietly sitting, doing some school reading and idly watching the beginning of The Highlander on TV (so awesome!), when he came in and asked whether he could use the lobby computer. I told him to go right ahead. A half hour later, my manager Mike called down to ask how many people were supposed to be in the guy’s room. One, I told him, and Mike said that there was a lot of noise coming from the room, and it sounded like someone talking. He wanted me to ask 218 whether he had anyone else in his room (a common occurrence since many people seem to feel it is beneath them to pay the additional $6.75 for an extra guest). I hung up with Mike, and called to the gentleman, “Excuse me, sir? Is there anyone else staying with you or in your room?”

Whereupon the guy turned around and proceeded to flip the fuck out. “Is there someone in my room? I’m here, I’m the only person in my room, just like you’re standing there and you’re the only person working!” he hollered.

Mildly taken aback, I tried to explain that my manager had heard noise in his room, and asked whether it could be his TV left on if there was no one else there, but that just further infuriated him. “Call the cops! I want you to call the police if there’s people in my room! You go in there and find out who’s in my room!” and so on. After five or so minutes of that, I told him his time was up on the computer (there’s technically a twenty-minute limit), to which he replied, “I’ve only been down here four minutes!” I almost laughed out loud than that, but restrained myself. As he went out the lobby door, he turned and asked, “Are you going to be reasonable?” but then before I could even respond, he put his hands over his ears and shouted, “Please be quiet!” He repeated that four times before finally returning to his room, where it turned out that he had in fact left his television on very loud. Mike came down shaking his head, and said, “That guy is really weird!” Apparently, his room was a disaster area, and he had rearranged all of his furniture.

That was my Friday, and when I returned to work after my weekend, I was thrilled to find him still at the motel. When I logged in to the computer, I found a note for everyone about how 218 had called 911 on Monday night because he had no food. According to the note, the cops had someone bring him a food basket, and then told us that he had some “problems,” and that we should call them immediately if there were any situation with him. Aces! I did not see him at all that night.

A few nights later, 218 came in ten minutes after I started my shift to complain that the cable wasn’t working in his room. So I grabbed my keys and went up to take a look. When I turned the TV around to check it out, I found that there was no cable jack. And the back of the TV was loose, as though it had been removed. Then he came out of the bathroom with all the cables. Mind you, the TV worked fine previously. I told 218 I had to call my manager, and that I would give him a call and let him know what we could do.

When Mike finally called me back, I explained the situation, and he shouted that since the guy had taken the TV apart, he wasn’t going to put another TV in there to be similarly destroyed, and 218 would just have to wait till the next day. If he could come out, he’d try to fix it, but otherwise, the guy was SOL. I called 218 and let him know that since it was Easter Sunday, it was difficult to get the TV fixed, so it might not be fixed till the next day. He seemed lucid and polite, and was even understanding about it.

Two hours later, I got a call from a 911 dispatcher. She wanted to verify that there was a person by his name occupying 218, and then asked me whether I had any reason to believe that the motel was on fire. Hmmm. I looked out the windows, then told her, “None of my alarms are going off, and there’s no visible smoke or fire.” She told me that he was pretty clear about being on fire, so I asked whether she wanted me to go up and check on him. She told me that she wouldn’t suggest that, and that the police would be there shortly. Oh goodness.

The cops arrived a few minutes later and went straight up to his room. They were up there for quite a while when an elderly Volvo station wagon arrived, with two crisis counselors who went up, too. Shortly after, one of the cops came down to explain that the lack of a TV was making his problem worse, and was it possible to get another one? Fearing Mike’s wrath, I described to the officer how he had taken it apart, but called Mike to ask. He remained adamant about the TV, which was not fun to explain to the officer. The officer returned upstairs, and soon after, the crisis counselors left. A little after that, Mike arrived just as the cops were leaving, and talked to them. He came in, grabbed another TV, and took it up to 218.

He checked out the next morning.Maintenance notes after check-out included: broken TV, broken table, broken chair, broken bathroom light, hole in wall by bed.

single biggest pet peeve

Posted in irrational, peeves, stupidity on December 14, 2008 by sarafist
When someone asks, “Are they pretty clean rooms?” or some variation thereof.
No, they’re filthy. We actually don’t clean them.
And even if that were the case, why would we tell you that?

i don’t get it

Posted in check-ins, irrational, peeves, stupidity on October 30, 2008 by sarafist
Schatzi: Is this address current?
Guest: The one on the driver's license is.
Since that was the only ID of theirs I had, I wonder what people like this are thinking. Why doesn't a "yes" or "no" suffice?

on again, off again

Posted in irrational on October 26, 2008 by sarafist
A young man came into the office early this afternoon and told me that he and his girl were "having words," and could I please give him a key since she'd locked him out? I checked his ID, and since his name was on the room, went ahead and gave him one.
A half an hour later, 211 called the office. This time it was the female occupant. "I need you to tell him to get out of here! Call the cops!"
"It's his room, I'm not telling him to leave unless you're in danger." [I hate dealing with this kind of drama, and these two have very loud shouting matches outside their room almost on a daily basis.]
"I want him out of here while I get my stuff, then! I'm just gonna get my stuff and check out!"
"I'll come right up, and you can get your stuff, okay?"
"Yeah, come up here."
I grabbed my phone and locked the cash drawer, and hustled on up to stand guard over a combative couple. When I got to 211, the stood was standing open, though I couldn't hear them yelling. Hoping they had chilled out, I walked up to the door, rapped my knuckle on the door, and peeked inside. The girl was sitting on the edge of the bed, apparently nude from the waist down, while the young man knelt on the floor in front of her, arms around her waist. Her arms were wrapped around his lower back as she curved her body over him to rest her head on his back. She looked at me and said, "It's fine now, can you close the door on your way out?" I shut the door and returned to the office, rolling my eyes and shaking my head, but ultimately relieved to not referee a shouting match.
Not ten minutes later, the young man came back down to the office, turned in both keys, and said they were checking out. "You know I can't refund your money this late, right?" I asked him, and he told me that was fine and left. A few minutes after that, she called again, asking what he had wanted. I told her that he had checked out, and she insisted she would stay since she'd paid for the room [True.]. Not really caring anymore, I told her she'd need ID to put the room in her name and to come down and change it. I probably won't even bother with that; I'll just leave it for the boss to do tomorrow.

our failure to predict someone’s actions causes trouble once more

Posted in irrational, stupidity on October 12, 2008 by sarafist

A woman came in and told me that she needed a printed confirmation for a reservation she had made for the twenty-ninth of this month.

“I’m sorry,” I told her. “But our computers are down this weekend, so I don’t have any access to reservations, much less the ability to print a confirmation for you, right now. You could see whether the Central Reservations will fax or email a confirmation to you; I can give you their number.” [It’s been a hassle-filled weekend, thanks to tech support’s refusal to work weekends, the busiest time for hotels.]

Getting huffy she said, “Well, I talked to Jennifer, and she told me I could come pick up a confirmation. She said your fax wasn’t working.” [We have had problems with our fax machine recently, so it seemed reasonable that that would have happened, but without computers, it was a moot point anyway.]

“I’m not sure why she would have told you that, since our computers are down, and have been since Friday. We don’t have any way to even look up a reservation right now, and can’t make them either. Are you sure you didn’t misunderstand?”

“No, I told her I would come in to pick it up, and she said ‘OK.'”

Jennifer’s new, but she’s smart and has caught on to the job quickly. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t have said that when she was working Friday or Saturday evening, when we had no computers. Suddenly struck with a suspicion, I asked, “When did you speak to Jennifer?”

“About two weeks ago. I was at work, and I needed her to fax it, but she said she couldn’t.”

No way. “You told her two weeks ago that you were coming in to pick up a printed confirmation?”

“Yes, and I am very upset that she didn’t say you couldn’t do it for me. Why would she say it was ok if you can’t?”

The woman was clearly demented. I told her, “I’m sorry, but our computer wasn’t broken two weeks ago, so she had no way of knowing that when you came in today, we couldn’t print a confirmation.”

“She should have said you couldn’t do it instead of wasting my time, making me come out here to pick one up. I told her I would come in on a weekend, and she said it was fine.”

I stared at her. “Jennifer did nothing wrong, ma’am. She had no way to predict two weeks ago that you would come in today, and that our computers would be down. Surely you understand that?”

We stared at each other.

“It’s a waste of my time,” she repeated.

I shouldn’t be surprised.

i guess we should have known

Posted in irrational, stupidity on October 2, 2008 by sarafist
Guest calling from room: When is our room paid up until?
Schatzi: Just a moment while I check the computer, ma’am. You are paid through Friday morning.
Guest: So we can come down and pay for the weekend anytime before Friday morning?
Schatzi: I’m sorry, but we aren’t taking any reservations for this weekend, as we’re booked.
Guest: Our room isn’t available?
Schatzi: No, I’m sorry, but we have no availability this weekend. We are completely booked for Friday and Saturday night.
Guest, to companion off the phone: She says the room isn’t available this weekend. She says they’re all booked up.
Companion: Ask her why they didn’t say so before?
Guest, to me: Why weren’t we told when we checked in?
Schatzi: Unfortunately, when a person checks in for two days, we have no way of knowing whether they plan on staying longer unless they tell us. So if you didn’t say that you might want to extend your stay, we wouldn’t know to tell you that you couldn’t. It’s the guest’s responsibility to let us know things like that.
Guest, to companion: She won’t say. She’s just beating around the bush. [What???]
Guest, to me: If we come down and pay right now, will that guarantee we can stay in our room this weekend?
Schatzi: I’m sorry, but your room is already reserved this weekend, as is every other room in the motel. We’re not accepting any reservations for this weekend.
Guest: Well, I still want to know why we weren’t told we could stay this weekend!
Schatzi: I’m sorry if you feel there was some miscommunication, but unfortunately at this point we have no options to extend your stay. [In the immortal words of Paul Reubens in Nice Dreams: I’m NOT sorry!”]

cutting into those Zs

Posted in irrational, nice people with tags on September 28, 2008 by sarafist
This morning around 9:30 I received a few calls from 109 asking to be connected to 100. This always irritates me, as I fail to understand why it’s necessary for someone to dial 0, wait for me to answer, then request the other room, and then wait for me to connect them instead of just dialing the three digits themselves. But I digress.
After the third call, she called me at the desk and asked me to go into 100 since they weren’t answering. I told her that I was sorry, but that we can’t go into rooms unrequested like that unless there’s an emergency.
“Well, I’m his mother and he’s not answering,” she told me, and then demanded that I go with her to knock on his door. Since I didn’t have much else to do, I agreed.
A few minutes later, a tiny old lady in her eighties arrived at the office, and we went down two doors to her son’s room. She knocked once, and then demanded that I open the door with my passkey. “Ma’am, are you sure he’s not just sleeping or in the bathroom?”
“No, there’s something wrong!” she insisted. “Why wouldn’t he answer?”
“Because he’s asleep or in the bathroom?”
She knocked once more, but there was no answer. “Can you open it?”
“If he’s upset about us opening the door, you will have to assume the blame, ma’am.”
“Why would he be upset?”
Because he was asleep and his mother and a stanger opened the door on him for no apparent reason, I thought to myself, but shrugging, I tried my passkey. The lights flashed green and red, indicating that the door was locked from the inside, and all but impossible for anyone to open from outside. I explained this to her.
“Well, what do we do now? There must be something you can do? What if he’s had a heart attack?”
“Does he have heart problems, ma’am? Is he at risk for a heart attack?”
“No. He does smoke, though.”
Just then, the door was unlocked and opened, and there was a very irritated grown man standing there. “What is it?” he asked his mother.
“Well, I thought you were ill!” she explained.
“Why would you think that?”
I left her to him.
Shortly after, he came into the office. “My mother is crazy,” he told me, sounding for all the world like an embarrassed teenager. “She won’t leave me alone! Like I’m going to die today! I was really getting some good Zs, too. I sometimes ask God why He won’t release me from this torture, but I guess He’s got a plan.” He sighed and shook his head, then wished me a good day.