Archive for the stupidity Category

help ME to help YOU

Posted in calls, phone calls, stupidity on June 5, 2009 by sarafist

I got a call asking whether we had any vacancies (not uncommon during the Rose Festival, even in this dreadful economy). I told them we did, the phonse was passed around, and then I set up a reservation forĀ  a young woman. Since it was 9:45pm, I told her that I could only hold it for fifteen minutes unless she used a credit or debit card to guarantee the reservation, and then asked how long it would be before she arrived.

Caller: I don’t know.
Schatzi: Are you coming now?
Caller: Yes.
Schatzi: And how long will it take you to get here?
Caller: I don’t know.
Schatzi: Where are you coming from?
Caller: Portland.
Schatzi: Where in Portland?
Caller: The lol-iday inn in Portland. They’re sold out. [A-ha! Something slightly useful!]
Schatzi: There are like, six lol-iday inns in Portland; which one are you at? [Hint: Ask the clerk, since you’re there.]
Caller: Southeast.
Schatzi: There are three in SE, can you ask the clerk what street you’re on? [Had to throw her a bone since she was not picking up on this herself.]
Caller: Uh, Powell.
Schatzi: Great, you’ll be here in about fifteen minutes. Do you need directions?

Really, if she had tried to be helpful or active in the least, that would have been a two sentence conversation.


nice job!

Posted in criminals, stupidity on May 21, 2009 by sarafist

Awesome update on the Ingallses!

Wallace was working and got a call inquiring about 136, the Jacuzzi room with a king bed. He told the caller it was available, and they said they’d be right over. He had kind of a weird feeling about the caller, so he locked up his laptop, and waited. It was the Ingallses, who he wasn’t familiar with due to never encountering them on his shift before (remember, too, he returned pretty recently). She asked whether she could look at the room before renting it, and Wallace agreed, locking the cashdrawer and walking her there while Mr Ingalls waited in the lobby. 136 is at the far end of our property, wchi is L-shaped, so they were gone a few minutes. When they returned, Mr Ingalls gave Wallace his license, and Wallace began the check-in process. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, they changed their minds and decided not to get the room. Wallace assured them that it was no problem, handed the ID back, and they left.

Wallace noticed then that there was something different, and looked around, trying to figure it out. The outgoing mail was gone. “No way,” he thought. So he checked the footage from when he was taking Michelle Ingalls to 136. Mr Ingalls stood quietly at the desk, then wandered to the flyers rack. Then he came and stood next to the outgoing mail, surreptitiously looked around, and then sloooowly slid his hand over to the rack. He snatched up the mail and quickly hid it in a pocket while nonchalantly looking in another direction.

There are a few elements that make this so great. One being that the outgoing mail holder is placed next to our video monitor. The monitor showing the office. And yes, it is angled so that guests can see it. So there was no reason for Mr Ingalls to think he wasn’t being watched. Also, instead of just leaving after stealing our mail, Ingalls gave Wallace his ID. His real ID. And then, all they got were some pictures of Adrienne’s baby that she was sending to a friend and a few bills we were sending people. Nice job, Ingalls!

And yes, we did report it to the police, and there is a case opened.

the identity of two-face

Posted in stupidity on May 17, 2009 by sarafist

I talked to Adrienne about Ms “It’s My Twin Sister’s ID.” Turns out that she is Michelle Ingalls, who we’ve had trouble with a whole bunch recently. Trouble with she and her husband both, actually. And their dogs.

When checking in, Mr Ingalls told us would be just him and his kid, and that his wife might stop by, but he would let us know whether she would stay or not. A day or two went by, and we caught Michelle Ingalls coming and going from the room, so we insisted that they pay for two. They argued for a while, then said they’d pay in a little bit as soon as someone brought the money, and then they’d leave when no one was looking. At least it was early enough so that the housekeepers were still around to turn the room over for new guests.

A few days later they returned, and he again tried to pay for one. We let him know that if Michelle’s going to stay then he needs to pay for her, but he insisted again that she wouldn’t be around. And she of course turned up. And was caught, leading to more argument before they’d finally pay. This pattern repeated itself several times over the course of a month, with them trying to check in individually, but secretly sneaking the other in, and lots of argument over it. Then we caught them sneaking two dogs into their rooms, and Mr Ingalls agreed to pay for them. And then they checked out again the next day.

When next they returned a few days later, they again sneaked the dogs in. This time my boss was here, and when they tried BS-ing him about how the dogs are just visiting, he gave them a piece of his mind. Mike yelled at them, and they agreed to pay, but then sneaked off the property with their belongings yet again, only they didn’t return for a while.

In addition to all that fuss, they were very dirty, and would try to refuse housekeeping for their room for a few days in a row, and when forced to take service would invariably have trash all over the room and other assorted delights.


Posted in fakers, stupidity on May 14, 2009 by sarafist

I was working late tonight, and a woman came in asking about a room for one. She looked really familiar, and I was certain she’d stayed here before several times, but I have a hard time putting names to faces (a liability here). I asked for her ID, and when she handed it to me, examined it. And then looked at her and said, “This isn’t you.”

She huffed and puffed about how it most certainly was her.

“For one, this picture isn’t you; it doesn’t look anything like you.” I continued speaking over her sputtering. “For another, this ID is for an eighteen year-old. You are waaaaay past eighteen, lady.” (She was at least a decade older in appearance, plus I KNOW HER.)

“That’s my twin sister.”

“Riiiiight. Regardless, I’m not renting to you.”

I’m going to have Adrienne take a look at the footage; I am sure she’ll remember this woman’s name.

it’s not just the guests

Posted in co-workers, stupidity on May 10, 2009 by sarafist
When I worked last on Thursday evening, 219 was having phone problems; she could not get a dialtone and was also not receiving any calls. I tested the line, and the phone just rang and rang, indicating that it was plugged in (if it’s not, we get a disconnecting message), so I went up and checked the phone out, ascertained it didn’t work, and fetched another phone with which to replace it. Well, though I’d tested the second phone in another room, it also failed to work in 219, leading me to believe that jack was broken. I offered her another room, but she preferred not to move that night and said she would just use her cell phone.I made a Maintenance note on her room in the computer, and also noted the problem in our logbook.

When I started my shift today, I followed my usual practice of finding out whether I’d missed anything on the day I was gone. As I read Friday’s notes, I found this gem:

“Tried to call 219 about switching rooms, got no answer.”

Nice one, co-workers!

no, your other right

Posted in calls, phone calls, stupidity on April 23, 2009 by sarafist
I often am called upon to give directions to and answer questions about other lol-iday inn locations, although we are all separate entities. Now that our parent company has built another location on the same street as ours, but ninety blocks east, things have gotten slightly more complicated.
Caller: Is this the lol-iday inn on A Street?
Schatzi: There are two on A Street now, and this is one of them. There’s one at about 90th , and another at about 183rd–do you know which you’re looking for?
Caller: The one by B Street.
Schatzi: B Street runs parallel to A Street for its entire length, sir. [Note: The two streets are one block apart throughout the entire city, so it’s “by” both locations.] Can you think of anything else nearby?
Caller: Well, it’s by 181st.
Schatzi: That’s a lot closer to 183rd than 90th, so let me give you their number. Do you have a pen?
Caller: Uh, no. Hold on.

baby, it’s cold outside

Posted in check-ins, stupidity on April 8, 2009 by sarafist

One of the nice things about the end of winter is that this stops happening.

Prospective Guest: How much for a single?
Schatzi: Just one person? $56.24 after tax.
PG: That’s not what the sign out front says!
Schatzi: The price isn’t on the sign, sir or ma’am.
PG: Yeah, it says $39!
Schatzi: That’s the temperature, sir or ma’am.